Now she was facing a crossing of some strange fork in the road and she was aching inside, trying to decide which path to take, or should she take it at all. She had been through the agonizing hundreds of times, and it always came out the same. How would she survive and stay sane in a lousy marriage?  She knew treading the same road time and again,  like in past sessions, she would end up in this same spot. This day was different as she stepped over the threshold, deciding to take the dark pathway into shadows of an unknown lifestyle. That place where all the losers went when they quit the game; reneged on a promise.

'Baa hum bug!  This is going to be the last day, mile, straw or effort I'll spend in a no-win, one-sided relationship,' she mumbled to herself, then stood up and heartily brushed off her plump bottom. "How do you get through a day like this?" Pleading out loud.  'Marriage', the word meant her whole life. The therapist kept telling her she couldn't lose something that didn't exist. It had taken some time for his words to sink in, accepting his advice. It hit her like the back wall of a brick privy. They hadn't been together as man and wife for nearly eight years, she remembered.  Always thinking she could fix it had kept her in an emotionally degrading marriage.  Till death do us part meant the world to her all those years.  Never, not once, did she even consider it wouldn't last forever!

Monday morning she headed to town and reluctantly drove into the parking lot of the new three-story office building.  Then, it happened!  She broke into a cold sweat.  And why not?  Jo Ann mustered all the strength she could, taking that first step over the legal threshold.  The young lady behind the huge mahogany desk was busily making ready for another week of broken marriages, solemn promises, so easy to nullify.

Sensing that Jo Ann was troubled by her herky-jerky stride, cutting a rut in Steven's newly installed, high pile, sculpted, steel-blue carpet he had so meticulously chosen for  his private enterprise, Carol groped around the dark interior of the cabinet for a new styrofoam cup, found one and filled it with near-brewed Louziane coffee and chicory, dark roast, and shoved the cup into Jo Ann's hands. Jo Ann took the generous offer for something to do with the stumps sticking out of the ends of her arms that all morning seemed to be of no good use.  Now they had something to do, she could worry better.

"Sorry!" Carol looked at her with a half-hearted shrug of her oversized shoulder pads, making her Avon pendant jingle against the large fake pearl buttons hovering above her cavernous cleavage. "He's running a wee bit late this morning.  Long family weekend, I guess!"

'Lawyer! How I hated the word.'  To her it meant destruction.   'What do they care that my life is over?  Money, that's what they want. God, my head is hurting so bad it feels like a corn kernel in a microwave oven,' she thought.
The clock said eight-thirty.  He's late.  'Maybe I should leave.  Maybe this is wrong.'   Her mind was going around in a steel drum.  'How can something feel so wrong, be so right? Eight-forty-five. Doesn't he know my pain? '

Steven walked through the door making big apologies. Acting like some important person, he stumbled over the newspapers she had strewn over the floor. 'Damn, I'm mad as hell!'  Jo Ann glared at Steven.  She had walked the hallway umpteen times.  He knew she had just about had enough by the footprints mushing down most of the pile in his new carpet.  Besides, she looked as though she was about to bolt and run.  Over the intercom she heard him tell Carol, "Send her in now."
'Whoopee Doo, I'm not impressed!  I'm telling him if he treats all his clients like this he's not worth a wet cow pie!'

Carol pointed Jo Ann in the direction of Steven's office.  Sinking into one of the plush burgundy leather chairs she leaned back, dropped her purse on the floor with a thud, then crossed her arms over her heaving chest like a troublesome schoolgirl caught and called to the principal's office for explanation.  She lowered her chin near her chest and glared at Steven with piercing, dark brown eyes.  Even her short wavy black hair trembling over her lifted brows seemed to be smoldering.

"I didn't go home last night, following your instructions."  Pausing to catch her breath.  "Now what the hell am I going to do?"  She snapped at him.
Leaning forward he propped his face in his chubby hands, disregarding her anger. "I knew it was going to be painful."
'How would he know?'  She needed his advice, not his winsome offer of condolence.  Jo Ann didn't give a good squat for any man's opinion now and most assuredly not one she was going to be paying the rest of her life.

"I want you to know you'll need eight hundred dollars up front, before we go any further," he said nonchalantly.
 "Eight hundred dollars!  Where am I going to get that kind of money?"  She hated him.  'How can he talk money when my whole world is falling apart?'  she thought. "Do you have a savings account?"  He drummed his fingers on the green blotter pad.
"Of course we do.  It's not a lot, but I've never taken anything out of it without asking him first!"  She remembered how little he had put in savings.  Most went into stocks and bonds.
"Well, this is the time you are going to do it without Al's consent. Take it all!  You're going to need every penny."
 

Within the week she began to feel like building a nest and went looking for a bed she could afford. She settled on a sofa sleeper that could be bought on terms.  There was a place for company in the day and a bed at night. She haunted the little shops and found a beautiful picture of a tiger.  The thought hit her like a rocket.  "I'll make the place look like a jungle." She bought two yards of material for pillows,  cork-board for the wall. Twenty four squares of mirrors over the sofa and a throw with a lion's head in the center of the floor.  A cardboard box  with contact paper made a coffee table. "What a jungle, I feel like a tiger. It's me!"

There were more men then women in the complex, and she looked forward to their coming home at night.  Sliding glass doors opened and there was cooking, relaxing or entertaining.  'They sure are good at letting everyone know what's on their minds.'  She had noticed the attention she got when she peeked out. After not having any affection for so long they begin to look pretty good.  'Damn fools, they compete like animals in the jungle.  They stalked their prey to see which one will get to it first.'  She thought the exhibitions blatant.

The nights got longer and restlessness started to set in. Needing to relax some, she made a quick trip to the store and bought a bottle of wine. 'Me drinking wine! Wouldn't he be pleased to say, "I told you so."'  After putting on some music she began to feel the glow and her thoughts went to the damned guy upstairs.  The phone rang.  "Hello! Oh!  Hi Maggie.  What's up?"  She drew open the drapes and could see Maggie across the way. "You know the guy upstairs?" Jo Ann asked.  "Every night he comes home, puts on cute white shorts bulging to bursting and prances across his porch on the third floor like a caged animal.  Wish the hell he would stop it.  He's starting to look good!" Getting up from the sleeper she closed the drapes.  She saw him lean over the railing and grin at her. "Damn him, he knows he's getting to me!" Maggie began to laugh when Jo Ann drew her drapes closed.

"Hate people, so damn sure of themselves.  Listen, talk to you tomorrow.  Think I'll go to bed early." Closing the drapes kept him out of sight but not out of mind.  In the darkness of the room she knew he was still stalking.  Jo Ann could feel him staring at her, even with the drapes closed.
'He's not going to leave me alone.' Getting into bed she could still hear his music playing.  'Why is this guy making me so uncomfortable?' She lay there restless and wide awake, thinking about the feelings that constantly consumed the greater part of her time.

'Midnight and it's still going on.  Maybe he'll give up and go out.  Everyone in the complex has gone out tonight but him and me.'  Having the ground floor was nice but a lot more dangerous.  It wouldn't take much for someone to push in the front door.  For the first time she began to be fearful.
'How can I sleep thinking he may break in?'  Every night was the same.  Going to the kitchen and gathering the pots and pans, she rigged up an alarm system with some string. 'Now if someone tries to get in I'll hear the noise.' '

                                          **Two days later**

Saturday night she didn't feel like joining the group outside, put on a night gown and robe and sat on the porch in the dark.  There was a loud bang as the door to the mail room slammed.  She knew someone was coming home.  Very slowly, Al peeped around the corner and when he saw her he jerked back undercover. Then the dreaded knock on her door.  Half afraid, and still wanting to know what brought him, she opened the door.  She let him in to have his say.  She felt she owed him that much. Getting to the point, she told him to say whatever it was he came to say.  Looking at Jo Ann with honesty in his eyes, he said he wanted her to come home. For a brief moment her heart skipped a beat, then she thought about what he had said and asked him to give one good reason for going back.  Without any hesitation he said, "I cannot afford to pay for this lifestyle you are living." Had he said he loved her and wanted her back, she may have considered it. Getting up very calmly, Jo Ann opened the door, and invited him to leave. She closed her door and windows from the world that night. She felt destroyed.

Lounging on the floor one night, listening to music, she could see the guy upstairs getting ready to do laundry. He descended the stairs and when he passed her door, without hesitation, she said, "Hi!"
He turned and looked at her just a split second. She could just make out his features in the dim lights from the pool.  Then with deliberation he dropped his laundry basket, cleared the porch railing then silently stepped onto her little porch and with cat-like steps entered the living room.  Before she could object, they were facing each other.

Jo Ann realized this young man of twenty-six had been the cause of her sleepless nights.  He had no name, and somehow she felt there wasn't a need for names. He put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close.  He smelled clean, like a balmy spring day, and reeked of maleness.  He took her face in his hand, lifted her chin up to face him and bent down and placed a slow lingering kiss on her open mouth. A mouth more then willing and ready to be kissed. It was special, like he had meant it to be, and he allowed her time to think about it before he forced her backward and kissed her harder, longer, then more urgently.  The look on his face was like nothing she had seen before.  She placed her hands on his strong muscular chest and caressed him like a child would enjoy her very first doll, loving it and drinking in all the newness, afraid not to remember should she awaken and find herself dreaming.

Putting her hands on his body was her undoing. This was the thing she had feared all those nights. She knew there would be no stopping once it began.  There was no conversation. Two love-starved people had found a way to fill their needs.  He stayed all night and sleeping did not intrude, as sleep was something that came only when every other need was satisfied. They held each other tight.  It was dark in the room except for the tiny green light flickering on the stereo dial.  Soft music drifted over the scene as he undressed her as she lay beside his hard young body.  Jo Ann knew this was going to be one night she would remember the rest of her life.

Regret never entered her mind and she would go on with her life.  Jo Ann knew he would never torture her thoughts again, and she had no doubt it was meant to be.  That beautiful young man had given her honest affection and  satisfaction, but most of all, he gave her life value.

 
  Trying to fill the empty space in her life, she took on more work at the airport as a security guard, but her nights were lonely. She felt she couldn't trust men again. Jo Ann and her supervisor became great friends.  Kelly loved to play pranks, and never met a stranger.  Nothing was so bad she couldn't see some good in it.  Going out with Kelly after work was quite enjoyable.  To watch her laugh and joke  was worth the time they spent together. On her forty-second birthday, she asked Jo Ann to help her celebrate by stopping for a drink.  "Of course and I'll even have a drink this time."

It was getting late and they decided to leave,  when someone pushed in between them and ordered a beer.  A tall lanky guy turned to Jo Ann and said,  "Hi, my name is Eddy, What's yours?"  Thinking that he was very rude, she refused to reply. After getting his beer, he decided to guess her name.  She said, "Fine, pick one."  Going down the list of names he could think of, he decided to call her, Monica. Standing there, ignoring her disinterest, he continued to relate his background; date of birth, education, place of employment and family members.  When he started talking about his Uncle Jed, the mule tamer, she began to laugh.

Eddy told her Dallas was such a great place to live. She invited him to go back to where he came from.  Thinking that this was a great response, he began to laugh out loud.  Drawing attention from everyone in the place, they began to trade insults. Waiting to see who would give in first, he said she was no match for him.  Thinking he was right, she began listening to what he was saying.  He said that he came to this area every ten days on business.  Jo Ann just knew he was a traveling salesman. `Great,' she thought, `another dead end street.' He handed her his business card with place of employment, address and telephone number, but didn't ask for her name or number.    He was a well spoken man and very entertaining.  They had been to some of the same places and enjoyed the same kinds of interests.  Looking at the clock she realized they had been talking for three hours and it was three-thirty in the morning.  Jo Ann slipped off the stool and headed for the door. "I'll be back in ten days. If you're in the area pass by."  She said, "Sure," knowing full well she wouldn't remember him by tomorrow.

His laughter came to her often the next ten days and she found herself watching the calendar. This was not like her to be thinking of someone she had only talked with briefly. Kelly and Jo Ann stopped in on the tenth day and there he was, sitting at the bar, facing the door as if he knew they would walk in at that exact moment.  Grinning from ear to ear, he acted as if they had come by just to see him.  This irritated Jo Ann.  They walked right pass him as if he didn't exist.  She was just getting back at him for all the insults from the week before.  He walked around the counter and sat next to Jo Ann.  He ordered a beer and two cokes.  Looking at her with a grin, he said that she had gotten him back and he deserved it.  "I agree with you and by the way you are twenty-four hours late."  She remembered coming by the night before.  Eddy asked her to have dinner with him the next evening, and she agreed.  Eddy turned out to be a quiet man with a fear of rejection.   He thought people enjoyed being entertained. Learning to deal with people who hurt, he tried to make up for it in his own way.

The gang was coming in for a swim.  Having been out all day they were ready to relax at home.  Home, that word seemed strange to her now.  'This is my home.  Here, with these crazy mixed up people, who see no faults and make no excuses for their actions.  They show their feelings with laughter or go to the extreme, self destruction.'  Propping her feet up on the table and leaning back, her thoughts went back to the exact day a year ago. There had been such emptiness in that house that it was hard for her now to see how she had survived it.  She had been fighting to save the thing that kept her prisoner.

Someone grabbed her from behind and before she knew what was happening she found herself under the water.  Just hanging around the pool area gave these guys the go ahead to throw you in whenever they chose.  This was their territory and gave them the right to wet your butt.  It was all in fun so how could she get angry.  Their needs were the same as hers, the need to be needed.

                                  **Three months later**

"Well!  I 've had obscene phone calls, but never one that sounded sexier than me,"  came the comment.  Jo Ann tried to catch her breath, and yelled, "Wait a second!"  She coughed a time or two then,  "Damn cigarettes are killing me!"  Stretching out on the bed, she said,  "Okay, what is it you want of me."  She tried to match his wit.
"I think you should go back to breathing hard." Replied the insulter.
"You!  What made you crawl out of your hole in the daytime?" She rolled over to the night stand, retrieved a new pack and lit a cigarette.  "Little Lady, if you meet me for a soda or... something, maybe we could settle this feud once and for all."
"Eddy, this is my day off. I don't leave home for anyone." "Well then, how about if I bring it to you?  A soda, of course."  He quickly replied.
"If you can find, 107 Sunset, Apt. A, then bring it on." After she said it, she was not sure it was the right thing to do.

The door to the mail room slammed.  Jo Ann could hear the sound of his boots walking toward the pool area.  He stood there for a few seconds looking around.  His arms folded across his chest as if he had to give his approval of the place.  `Damn.'  she thought `Why does he have to act so arrogant?  If I didn't know him better he would be out of here fast.'  Looking over her way, he began to walk around the pool to where they were seated.  She had not seem him in the daytime before.  He was at least six-four, and skinny as a rail.  Denim jacket, jeans and short polished boots that zipped up the sides.  His slow deliberate walk toward them was getting him the attention he wanted.  That silly grin on his face was a permanent feature.  He had the bluest eyes she had ever seen. 'They could drive any woman nuts.'  They were deep set and added to his rugged look.  He truly was a Texan!  Sure of himself and cocky looking as hell.
Maggie sat there with her mouth open but nothing came out.  She shoved her elbow into Jo Ann's side as if to say, 'Wow!'

 He did look striking in the daytime. The outdoors man every woman was looking for was wrapped up in this lanky Texan.  His hair was salt and peppered and not a sign of losing it.  Making gestures to wave at everyone in the area, he turned and bowed before her.  `Oh God,' she thought,  `I could kill him. He's got everyone here thinking that he and I are an item.  Clever move on his part.'  His eyes met hers and he could see that she was annoyed at his entrance.  He dragged a chair close to hers, pulled two sodas from his back pockets, handed one to Maggie and one to Jo Ann. If you want to make an impression on a lady, then impress her friends.

Maggie just stared at him!  Quickly Jo Ann said, "Maggie, I want you to meet Eddy."  She leaned over and offered him, her hand.  He kissed it!  'I will kill him!' she thought.  Watching her reaction to all this, he giggled under his breath.  He knew that she was getting stirred up.
Turning to look at her he said, in a deep voice, "Well, Little Lady, how are you doing this fine day?"
"I was feeling pretty bad before you called,"  She remarked, "and now I'm feeling worse!" Jo Ann wouldn't give him an inch.
Seeing  Jo Ann was not to happy with this arrangement, he asked if she would like to take a ride to the lake.  Thinking that it was better then sitting there and watching Maggie drool all over him, she said,  "That's a great idea."

Unlocking the front door, she bowed and let him go first.
"Ha!  A liberated woman."  He grinned at her.  "I like that in a woman.  It's time we guys got some respect."
Looking around the apartment he nodded approval. Turning to face her he said,  "Just what I've been looking for, a lady tiger."
"Next time I run across one, I'll keep you in mind," she said curtly.  He followed her into the bedroom as she went in to retrieve her purse and a jacket.  'Oh no!'  I fell for that once and all it got me was heartache.' Turning around to enter the living area he bumped into her. "Excuse me, my lady, didn't mean to slow down your pace."  He questioned, "What's the big hurry?"
"The sun will be going down soon. We'd better hurry if we're going."  She rushed him out of the apartment.

Instead of putting him off, he started showing signs of being encouraged.  'Damn!' she thought, 'I'm doing this all wrong.' Durng the two-mile ride to the lake he became very quiet.  Jo Ann wondered if it was just that he had no one to impress.  He glanced over at her.  There was no grin on his face. 'Oh me, now he's going to get serious.  Got to stop playing these games, It's not going to turn out good if he gets hurt.'
After entering the parking lot, he turned off the engine. He turned to face her.  He didn't say a word, he didn't move.  Jo ann became very uncomfortable.  Then, suddenly she opened the door and hit the ground running up the levee to the lake, not stopping to see where he was.  Out of breath, she sat on the ground.  The wind was cold and the sky was a beautiful pink and violet color. 'The small clouds look like steps to heaven,' she thought.

It was a short time before she remembered Eddy. He had gone his way, walking into the sun.  'Who is this man? What makes him tick?'  A court jester, a ladies' man, a Texan, a businessman, a friend? Could he possibly be a loving, caring person?  Staring out to sea, she became lost in her thoughts and chills ran through her as the wind from the north whipped around her. She pulled the jacket up and felt him place his jacket over her shoulders.  Kneeling down behind her, he put his arms around her neck and pulled her to his chest.  He didn't say a word.  The smell of him was mingled with the salt air.  Jo Ann noticed how nice it was, feeling someone so close. Not feeling the need to be defensive, she allowed him to hold her until the sun went down.  It seemed as if they were witnessing the most beautiful movie ever made. There was no need for dialog.  When the sky turned dark and the first stars began to twinkle in the sky, he bent over and kissed the top of her head.  It was something a person can feel but once in a lifetime.  They had just witnessed the hand of God.

Reaching down and helping her up he said,  "It's too cold out here for you, Let's go home." Turning to face him she reached up and kissed him lightly on  the lips.  He just put his arm around her shoulder and they began to walk back to the car. Holding him around the waist, he slipped her  hand in his back pocket and snuggled his in hers'. It seemed as if they had been doing this forever.

Arriving back at the apartment she invited him in for coffee to warm up their bodies.  Eddy stretched out on the sofa and before the coffee was done he had dozed off.  Jo Ann put some music on and lay down on the floor beside the sofa.  Guess you could say they slept together.  Awaking around eleven o'clock Eddy picked up his boots and tip toed out the front door and locked it behind him.  Dragging her aching body to bed, she dove in amongst the pile of pillows, grabbed several, and dreamt of sunsets all night long.
 

 
  Jo Ann leaned back against the bank of a large sand dune and watched as Eddy left the blue-green waters of the gulf. In all his glory, he was as natural as a human could be and she smiled as she watched him pull on his tattered old shorts. It was evident to her he was in tune with nature and had no visible inhibitions.  They had become true beachcombers. His hair was wet, and wild and matched the look in his eyes. The shackles of the world had fallen away to reveal a free man and woman. Thinking he would beat her to the hot water again, she began to run.  Had she glanced back, she would have seen a broad smile on Eddy's face. He had wittnessed the make-over of a sullen woman, to a beautiful, vibrant being who felt the greatest gift he could give. Freedom.
In his wildest dreams he couldn't have imagined how he would one day find this woman, so misunderstood by the foolish man who spent over twenty years with her, and never knew that he had in his hands buried treasure.