Duck Nursing Homes

Few people know it, but ducks have nursing homes too. When ducks grow old they often need a place to live and many find themselves living in a duck nursing home. These old quackers, as they are often called, experience the same types of problems as institutionalized humans living in people nursing homes do. Here are some examples.

As you would expect, old ducks no longer have their teeth, so their diet consists of mostly strained spinach. This provides a constant source for rancorous complaining. It's a spectacle to behold, all those old ducks wailing, flapping, and quacking, as they sit in their duck dining room, gumming their spinach while quacking their bitter dissatisfaction, making both a mess and an awful racket at the same time. The CDNAs (certified duck nurses aides) do good not to ring their necks. Nonetheless, meal times are highpoint of the day for nursing home ducks.

Duck social activity is also much like that of humans. Often, outside groups of dancing ducks will visit to entertain the resident ducks. The Silver Quackers are one of their Favorites. Another entertainer, Sammy the Singing Duck, was the rave of ducks in many facilities, until he was shot. There was even an Elvis impersonator duck, but he also met an untimely death when his owners cooked him in a stew.

Games are designed to emulate those activities which the ducks were use to in their youth. "Artistic pooping" is one game where the ducks are permitted to poop in creative patterns on the floor, in some designated area. They are always quite proud of their accomplishments, finding all sorts of patterns and pictures, much like children finding the shapes of animals in clouds. I have seen this, however, and my impression was that it was just a mess. The floor duck certainly agreed with my assessment.

Most ducks have full, rich, interesting lives, soaring above lakes and fields, catching junebugs, flying south in winter, frolicking with the other ducks in playful abandon. But, like people, they grow old, and landing in a duck nursing home is not something many ducks look forward to. It becomes a necessity, however, for many, and when it does its nice to have somewhere to go.